Good night, Lord…
What’s the meaning of the kindness? What’s the effect of loving each other? What’s the purpose of serve the other with all of my heart?
I can’t believe you teach me and ask me to do all of this nonsense! Do the kindness, share the love and help the other with my life, my skill and all of my heart??? Lord, may be it’s nonsense. It’s the lying. It’s the foolishness.
I have do all the kindness, but the other do not receive my kindness. The other take the adventage of this kindness. I love the other, but they do not give me the same respon. The other do not show their respect to me. I have serve them with my skill, but they do not thanks to me. The other not appreciate me. I have do all. Even more than before, day by day. I have to fill my life to share, to love, to serve. But the fact is more kindness do much more the sorrow. Isn’t a foolishness?
I know You know if sometimes, I wanna be the other one and hate my self. You right know if sometimes I wanna to quit and do my own way, not Your way! You know how my desire to do the same as they have done. But what happen? I always feel gone wrong and so tormented. But, if I do the kindness, I also tormented with this sorrow. It’s not meaning, I do the kindness for the reward or same respon. I do it with the wholehearted, but I don’t like the people which take the advantage of my kindness.
Lord, for everything I ‘ve tell You this night, please forgive me. It’s just my conscience in this quiet night. Arrgghh, why you not make my heart like the stone or the anything else which can’t broke like this?